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I allowed this rawness

And now I am smoothing my edges. I have to. It’s about value. Deep inside me there is a value that I can attach to my outer shell, to my outer me. Why are they split? When did they split?

Value

I am worth more than mere crumbs and distracted vitriol. I cannot allow this rawness to persist. I cannot allow the lies and twists of my self identity this way.

More time is needed but it’s my time. I do not wish to give you my time. Always working so hard to cover the rot. This rawness like sour milk and stinging thorns.

One is more than enough.

art credit : portrait de Majoraie Ferry — Tamara de Lempicka. 1932 oil on canvas 39 3/8 x 25 5/8″