the narcissist needs help too. their issues are steeped in trauma as well. they are built more than born. not inherently evil, and full of anxiety. what you've described here is maybe someone that has been abused by a narcissist and took some of those traits as survival mechanisms. it happens. and it's good that you want to help, it is , but if she doesn't want to be seen as someone that is willing to get the help, and not just get the sympathy, then you will continue to be hurt, explaining away the reasons you can't leave, because you will be even more trauma bonded than you may be now. with love my guy. with love