the beaten

The first time without thinking I reached out blindly, my hand met yours, just days after you said that word. you’re 14 full of wet puppy and here I am shaking your hand,… as if I wouldnt take a tire iron out of my car and beat you open to your tiny pink dick if you had been a man … saying that word to me..

your mother wants me to try harder.. I don’t know a damn thing about this world and its lack of heat, getting hotter in this millenial ice age..I’m supposed to seek God instead I’m seeking more hours, more redemption for my anger and fuck if it’s not enough to love a woman and stay invisible to her legacy…say that word again… short bus

I came back into the wooded areas. I won’t drown just yet. I have a bit of that “the world’s too big,” and have an empty head, and empty hand… full only enough for you all to come peck your right from it… more hours.. stayed away too long… thinking I was safe inside my idea of safety.. the last three years of running, walking, dying and gasping for another day and when I get half of the entirety of the world buried inside you cause you are as advertised .. I’m ready to hit that road again, ready to long for you.. ready to pray for you.. just not stay for you … and my grades and priorities become just a few more hours, just a few more drinks, just a few more tokes…. who survives that nature as if it wasn’t the skin, who exists as perfect as perfection without a…