strategy of the blind

Sometimes the healing love of Christ hurts. It is a hard washing of the heart.. the reach scouring the trauma, ameliorating the arteries. And for as good as that may feel the confusion of the flesh, seeking connection, the confusion of such a perfect love, the reminder of a past spent walking the earth, blistered and broken yet complete… the confusion of being and loving, the confusion of forgiveness…. There is nothing like being yourself, somewhat outside yourself, somewhere between a yes and a hell yes. Gratitude is stumbling through those memories. That great wander and epic fall down. The denial and deflection of strategic self representation. The heat of that desert floor.. is it possible to miss it ? It is possible to encounter God for the safety of denial.. the force of that love a crushing cloud filling your lungs pressing your heart. Carried in those arms, separate but together … whole but fragmented.

It is not difficult to confess..not difficult to lose sight of the crippling effects of a substance use induced disorder, those challenging effects perceived and experienced through those warped perceptions.

Perspective is more than a simple feeling.. it’s a decided upon cognition. Actions are decisions .. love is an action that can be felt…easy as conditioned air..

so feel that energy pressed up against the doors of that fortress. feel it.

art credit: The Garden Behind the Moon (1895) — Howard Pyle