spiders

its been a life time of fears. a life time void of reason, this is the spear head of the irrational. I sat there with you. not opposite nor opposed, simple in my crossed stairwell pose. I am not terrified, and you are not full, still filling, still room for me. there are voices in the leaves, voices in the attitude. we will not refuse the tree and yet we have been refused the tree. …I want that life with you. we have repeated the order and we keep centered, again, we are eclipsing and revealing from shadows and beacons… I want this life with you.

the fear stole the beginning and the mastery isn’t simple like surviving. it is mindful like our touching. our touch is loaded with words and the beginning is your head tucked. the start is your lip curled, then bitten and the hair curled and my arms cover your hands covering your cheek, cradled like a phone in my shoulder. just one more night to scream and one more aged response to a blood rich rhythm. there are swords spinning a refusal and your lips are riding the boats toward my openness. this new mind large as a lake.. we ride it together way past the locks and screw ties holding our feet inside this vast oneness.

we are not wishing, we are not building .. God moves the weight and we receive that breath, missing the rest of what we left, building inside with new tools.