speculate a speck in the murk(6)

it’s not always easy accepting the things we ask for. you know it’s coming, you expect it, still when it arrives, cold under the heat lamp, we speculate. asking, when we don’t really care.. we never wanted that dish. we asked for it. but didn’t want to actually eat it. missing someone can be this way. attached , but we don’t want that shit

still for every cold pasta or wilted salad in our history there are those that our attachment calls us to forgive. we speculate their intentions. they took what they took damaged every trust in ourselves we could build and we stand there, robe tied around our waists, washing their feet, proclaiming them clean, saying “who but the most vulnerable amongst us”? yeah that’s right “only the one without sin can cast a stone”.. and even he did not, speculating instead that sin is sin and evil is the acceptance of that sin. you heard them call me monkey. some are radiating a black like the covered wagons of the undertakers.

so after the long wait and the drinks are half gone, here comes that sorry excuse for nurture we now call forgiveness. it is ego. understand that and you can finally stop eating all those extra slices of discount pizza built on the shells of cockroaches and gluten artifice. we are what we eat. be warned.. I will meet your next projection with a match and a bottle of rum.