snow again

The cliff is over my head and it is that Utah red rock, that Rockies high desert shelf rock. I am underneath the shelf foot after foot. Today I visualized this while listening to songs that I have attached no meaning. This is a new thing. I am counting it.

The physical parts of me, cling to the deeper parts of me, it is an embrace and I am starting to feel things for myself. One breath in 4 beats then pause 4 beats breathing out. This is the embrace and all those double XL shirts of last year are getting longer. I am safer in my skin. I am believing without thinking. I count this as everything as the clock strikes 4:44. This is everything.

My house is strangely comfortable. No longer cold. Energy efficient now. I can feel my carbon footprint shrink, I am pushing myself up from the floor and pulling myself up to the moon. Watch that lunar cycle and know that finally I don’t have to disrupt this. Boundaries are for me not them.

I am counting the wisdom not claiming it. I am growing in the hand. The wild appears like a garden, children in the sandbox. So I’ll be thankful and pass the credit to the winds surrounding me, changing me, putting wings, removing the scars.

Scars. I’m not sure this will result in scars. It doesn’t have to. I know my part in it. I am not that anymore. It was just white lines in the road.

art credit: “Paradise XIV” — -Gustave Dorè, 1860, for “The Divine Comedy” by Dante Alighieri.