my penguin

the dark corridors of what I believed was my desire has been closed off with brick.

I deserve more, and it’s ok to want more. this isn’t starting over. it isn’t sitting quietly begging for crumbs either. there isn't a winner or a loser situation. this is a reckoning. I am not looking so much for a way back in as I am looking for what is mine. selfish is the thirst. not sure I’ve ever been here before, so much love speckled with anger. you and the deformity of attention.

small victories, not to be compared. trivial happenings not to be laid out in contrast. this shine to that dullness. that love was mine, and I have never decided against the echo of that heartbeat. selfish tiny death. a thousand times across my lips. selfish little shake. we don’t love like we used to.

I have embraced the darkness, now I can let go. I don’t need that identity. I can walk away knowing, that the world is a bitch.. crumbing you to orgasm. I don’t need that bitch. that is no way to sleep.

art credit : Yu na 2017 — -masha bogatova