Letter me

The programming is faulty. What I mean is all of a sudden my focus is about that .. and that isn’t happy. I said almost too loudly “Mom I don’t think I’ve ever focused on happy”. She couldn’t guess of a time. And I already know.

I’m right where I belong. I know I felt the way I did, and I did say those things. I said them all the while rowing my boat backwards into the mouth of that whale. Yeah maybe call it that, call it backing in. I don’t…