how does it feel

I can be asked now, “ how does it feel?” and the knowing sides will tell you, it feels as good as I feel, in these moments, “this is how it feels”, even though this is that day and the question is less answerable. it is as warm as the sun. twin or no twin. the whole thing is aflame, warmer than the sun through my window. more complete than the 7 count breath of the inhale. “where are you?”

a sin against myself, strange statement to make, the belief in something as incurable as sin, driving me backward into that hole. so.. “ how does that feel?” dare we rationalize the action as “ I needed to feel something..”, I needed to know. and I do know now. the realities of this environment versus the bending of the day, like a spoon hardly present. it may be true that one cannot love in the presence of such violence, one cannot move past that feeling. I may have missed the meaning and the message completely. give it no feeling, and no where to stay. although this gift is real. and I too am ready to be gifted. this life is a maze.

the bathing is everything. the longing to share, to be triggered into caring, to be pushed and pulled, set on fire and doused with water. a polarity outside the balance to grow beside, walk beside, run to and from..ready or not “ see how I feel”. like a runaway cozying up to myself. embracing the beautiful inside the minds inner vision. aligned with the break out and the break free.

this is almost like not knowing what to do but feeling as if what is being done is what can and must be done.

set on fire. it feels like being set on fire.

art credit: Silueta Series 1974 by Ana Mendieta