Feel good anyway

I didn’t think I was counting the days. Unfortunately they are numbered. The high from the run doesn’t last as long as it used to. I’m not sad or even mad, although I haven’t received the quote for my car after the water made it into the gas. The cameras work again and I’m adding more. So much cost. Can’t really stay stuck blaming anyone. That’s the catch.. know the anger let it go.

Is this what feeling good is like? I’m thankful that the only stress that exists is created by uncertainty and not the stomping feet of my recent experience. Gratitude has to be written.. I have written it before. That singular word over and over again.

It works. When I arrived in Portland my friend flaked on me. I didn’t bat an eye. I actually received a call over the station intercom. Marston Hall.. I had thanksgiving dinner with a different person that night. I learned to love the mist at 50 degrees. I spoke that gratitude into my discomfort, changing. Loving. Funny coming home isn’t like that….or is it? Is it?

Sometimes all a person can do is put Rick Ross: Port of Miami on and try to feel the sloth like deep cork and screw feel of his tone. I almost feel better. I prefer this to crying.

Chemistry is important, and easy when you’ve made the decision to float down the river versus fighting the waters, paddling and clinging to the rocks. I think all this…