Daylily

My guess is a quality guess. The leaves are dropping and it’s important to enjoy that. Open the windows and let out the stuffiness of the inner mind. Regardless of what I have said here.. I haven’t truly been living wrapped so tight.

Opening a window is like opening my chest. Breaking the cartilage, running my hands under the bones. I have a measured disposition, changing to be more accepting, more patient, warm, and empathetic. All those things pointed inward. I have no problem showing others this regard, but now, opening a window is like opening my mouth. No more speaking in thumbs. Thumbs that speak inside my head. Thumbing me softly.

I always lean into the hill as I climb it, eyes averted from the road, inches away from the cars driving past. I’ve been stopping on my way home. Stopping is starting. It isn’t confusing, those are merely fingerprints on my glasses. Something I’ve mishandled. Better is coming. Glasses are wiped clean.

The quality guess is that it’s a good idea to clean the counters, sweep the floors, gather the lawn and paint the canvass. It’s good to pray and meditate, read the nightstand covers and show up for yourself, especially when showing up for others. These months have been a creaking floor. I have crawled over the heaving floorboards, but truly I don’t hurt and I don’t want. I am observing. Starting here inside, opening myself. Trusting the air to fill my lungs. Twisting in the wind of the inhale. So very close to sitting with myself.

Opening into the sun, a day lily, sitting bull, sitting still with myself.

Art credit: Sakura by Ogata Korin (17th Century)