1. us the we

I am not lost, well not in terms of intention direction or location. no, I wanted to be more secure emotionally, but that just hasn’t been the case. I start the day getting in tune with a feeling, smiling freely. there is a robin that’s been trying to get into my house. I took notice of the deer as they wonder my yard, looking rough and thuggish. here’s the thing about compassion, for me it is a lessening of boundaries. it’s more about seeing you as I see myself. I hope to figure this out

I have thrown all the bottles and cans away. I’m beginning to see my space as something to share. this is so dangerous for me after years spent in on tumble dry cycles of lies. I was just thinking to myself about how I ended up here in PA, used and discarded. why did I never return to Texas? what stops me from going there now?

No, I am not lost in the ways I once was. I have actually finished something, chose myself, in spite of the pain, the love that remains. that’s the promise. this love in me is real. my hair is growing in real nice as well..there’s a familiar happiness in my new day starvations. I trust tomorrow because it is only me, this universe built for us. the we.

time to water the plants, and eat the salmon

art credit: medusa sketch — — -james jean (2022)